Librarian Ire

Friday, September 29, 2006


Oh there was joy this week. Yes, pure unadulterated dancing JOY!
In fact I got to do the Hooray you're fired Happy dance.
Stripey has left the library.
I don't have the full story, but I suspect there's more to it than the offical line.
The offical line is that she got another job.
But there were hints that she doesn't have another job at all. And the boss dropped a morsel of gossip that there are medical tests in Stripey's future.
And not for allergies or heart trouble if you get my drift.
But again I don't have the full story.
While I don't wish any terrible disease on her, really. It's nice that when I work now on her days I can actually get stuff done instead of answering her questions every 5 minutes.


Some audacious new student tried to break into the library today. Never mind we were open.
I mean really, can't you read? The hours are posted.
But what was really alarming was that despite being some nobody of a person(who I know doesn't work here)he was able to lock the doors.
I had to yell at him and send him on his way. I hope he never realized what havoc he was capable of in that short shining moment.
Security needs a good talking to. It's always a good idea to give every student, faculty member, and staff the ability to open the main library doors at any time they want.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Sex Paraphanalia

A sign I am old. Very, very old. Students nowadays - clean cut ones - carry an array of sexual paraphanlia around with them in their bookbags. A few months back, one student was digging in her bag to show me something and watching, I saw something odd. "What's that?" I asked, not for a moment thinking it was what I thought it was. It was. Its something one needs to purchase in one of those "specialty" stores & its flavored, is all I'll say. "Why the hell are you carrying that around?" Was my cry! I was met with a shrug. This, from one of my very good, well adjusted, mature students. What the hell kind of school am I working at??!

This on top of one of the crotchy old guy librarians who was talking about how he likes to be pleasured the other day.

Do you have drugs to send me? because I really need to be medicated.

Troubled Soul

A coworker couldn't get the little window that prompts about an upgrade to "go away" so she called campus IT repair.


Monday, September 18, 2006

What's with Hiring Committees?

I know you all have examples...

Here is the most recent example of hiring genius in my crappy crappy library:

Librarian left for greener pastures at the beginning of the summer. Hiring committee sat on their hands for awhile then interviewed. They brought in 3 candidates. 2 of them I knew and were both pretty qualified, one much more so. The 3rd candidate was a wonder - why this person? Qualifications were much less than the other 2 and probably most of the applicants. Here are the kickers though. The application specifically stated "send as pdf" - she sent as a Word file. The cover letter was three pages of rambling nonsence. When she came to interview? She was wearing a t-shirt. A plain, scoop neck cotton t-shirt.

Guess which one they hired?

She started last week while I was off, so I'm sure there will be lots more lovely stories forthcoming from this savant.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Damned freshman

Annoying new freshman came in recently.

She comes in on Monday wanting a book. Apparently she needs it by Sat for some paper or something.
Well, we have 2 copies and another of our libraries has one as well. Two are checked out and one is supposed to be on the shelf. She can't find it. She's got long brown braids and one of those 1960's style pop-up hats with the pom-pom and the brim. Tres chic.
She looks, well, annoying. My student says "I knew before she even opened her mouth she was going to be trouble."
So I promise we'd look. I tell her she could recall the books. But she needs it before Sat. I promise we'd do our best to find it. If we couldn't find it by yesterday I'd mark it missing and she could ILL it.
I explain in great detail what that is, because she didn't know. Serious freshman cluelessness.
So now she wants to put in an ILL request. I explain the ILL policy to her again. And if we can't find it we will let her ILL then, just not NOW. But it won't do any good since she needs it by the end of the week and ILL takes about 10 days. She didn't get that.
She and her buddy hang around for a while, presumably to wait and see if we turn up the book. Then she leaves after my student doesn't find it. Not leaving a name or number to contact her. Of course. But they want to know if we have a bus schedule to get back to campus. I tell them to look up the shuttle schedule on-line since we don't have one handy. Dumb all through. Then they want to know where to get the bus.
I check later on. Nothing. No pre-shelving, no carts, ect.
So we look yesterday. Nada. I did mark it missing but I hated to do it. Not just cause they were annoying. But I promised.

Monster, here I come

It's time to look for a new job.

This morning, when I visited the ladies - guess what I found? A empty yogurt carton in the stall.

Ok! Who the HELL is eating yogurt on the toilet? That is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Fleeting happiness?

I got joyous news this week. It might be only temporary, but I have learned to take joy where it is found.
Dr. Nathan, as you know is back. But he called with a problem. He won't be able to work his daytime shift. He has no problem working weekends, but working in the morning and afternoons during the week is too hard for him.
A rule we have here is everyone who works nights or weekends needs to work a weekday shift with her.
Dr. Nathan got away with it last year because he did technically work a daytime shift. But he only wanted to work weekends this year.
HA! He needs too much supervision to do that. Which we all know.
So he was told he could work on the weekends only if he worked a daytime shift. He agreed.
Then this week he called and said he couldn't work his scheduled shift. Apparently he just HAS to take this class and it's only offered during his shift.
I want to know when he's out of here and when I can do the "Hooray You're fired happy dance"
But it's not this week alas. The boss is confident she will be able to work something out. She announced that she wasn't hiring anyone else this year.
I know enough that you NEVER tempt the universe like that. So there is hope. Although karma is sneaky. I might have to wait a while.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Think of me as a god... doesn't matter what you say & do, only what I say & do.

For instance, when it says we open the library at 8:00am, we open at 8:00am. The clocks used are those of the institution or the person opening. It doesn't matter what your watch says.

This morning when I went out the door to run to the post box quick before opening a girl waiting there says "Why aren't you open?!" In the snootiest tone she can come up with, naturally. I say "We open at 8:00am". "It's already 8:00am". "I'm sorry, my watch says its 7:58." "Well, my watch says its 8:01"

WELL - if her watch says... good grief. They're actually getting denser.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

How dare they?

That was the theme that this older bald guy had today. What a start to the morning.

He was mortally offended that someone dared to recall a book that he had checked out.
He demanded that we tell him who had recalled the book from him. "Because if it's another student I am not going to return it."

I had to explain about the U.S. Patriot Act and the privacy policy as well as my ethical concerns about civil liberties. I still don't think that he believed me. Or cared. He would have cared if I had given his information out. And if he keeps this up all year I just might. It'd be a tough battle between ethics and revenge, but my people hold grudges really really well. It's just not a good idea to piss off the person who can edit your record. And turn you into the FBI.
He kept right on ranting about the fact that he was told he could have this book for months and wasn't finished with it. We tell you that it can be recalled at any time. If you choose to ignore us or believe you are exempt, well then you have more problems than I can help you with.

But no. It wasn't his fault. It's an integral flaw in the system we use. I don't know what he wanted me to do right then. The system we use, while not perfect, is better than before. So he didn't get sympathy for me. And ranting and raving wasn't endearing him to the patrons waiting behind him.
I gave him the standard options, waiting to recall it again, buying the book, or using ILL. That wasn't good enough for him.
He wanted his book right now with no interruptions whatsoever. Then he should have bought it. I bet he's a paper abuser too. He has that aura.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Stupid idiotic #&%*# new professor

We've got a whole bunch of new professors here at my venerated institution. They drive me crazy for many reasons. Here are a few. You have to be extra nice to them from the very beginning.
Very often they have an overinflated sense of their own importance. Which means they don't introduce themselves to you and you are expected to just know who they are.
They turn things in very late, if at all. And are shocked and horrified that we don't do things the way their old university used to.
But the main reason new professors drive me crazy is reserves. (Now who out there is shocked at this. Come on. Be honest.)
Here is an example.
Two e-mails come in from the newest professor for his fall classes. First of all he sent duplicate e-mails. Got the same info twice. Just in case I missed it the first time I guess.
He has all his books listed, with how long a reserve time he wants them for. We've got titles, and in some cases authors. (So far it SOUNDS good.) But wait for it.
No call numbers. No years or editions. In two cases the books aren't owned by the library. In one other case the book he wants has been missing for 3 years.
And in all cases the books he wants for reserve belong to another departmental library.
So not only did the guy not do his research and look on our catalog, he has no idea how this whole reserve system works.
He could have put all the books on reserve at the library they live at. Several other professors do that with no problems at all. Because most of the students who would take this particular class spend most of their time there anyway.
Where is my taser gun when I need it?