Librarian Ire

Friday, June 30, 2006

Crazy passes v.2

If Flaky researcher woman wasn't bad enough we have crazy summer students in every day.
Now if it were grad students taking some extra credit it wouldn't be so bad. They at least know how to operate a copy machine and have more information than one word for a book.
Bandanna lady was driving me nuts today. First she kept trying to buy copy cards from me. Now I have no objection to you handing me money. After all, I could use it. But the instructions on how to get a copy card are very clear. And I know I was the third person to explain it to you today.
Then later on in the day she came in with the words, "I wonder if you could help me, as I am a library newbie." That's the worst way to ask a reference question in the whole universe. But I get paid to answer questions so nothing I can really do about it.
Bandanna lady wanted a book. She wasn't sure we had it, but she knew the college bookstore didn't.
So here we go into the reference interview.
"What's the title?" I ask.
"Oh I don't know. But it's about meditation." Oh goodie.
"Okaay, who's the author?"
"The last name is Hugo."
"And do you know the first name?"
I ask but my hope fading.
"Oh no. But the last name is Hugo."
In one last ditch effort I try to salvage this question. "Do you have an inital?"
No she didn't. All she knew was that it was in English by someone named Hugo and it was about poetry. Oh goody. I told her we'd get a lot of hits. She didn't believe me.
So I filtered out every language except English. Well it cut the records down by a third. Which meant there were over 1,000 hits to search.
I suggested that she ask someone in her class if they remembered the title or author of the book so we could narrow the search down.
Bandanna lady didn't think they'd know. Until one of her classmates piped up with the suggestion that she go to the bookstore and ask them. They had ordered copies and would likely remember what it was.
That took a minute or two to register with Bandanna lady. "Oh I won't bother with them, since I have already finished my piece and don't need the book."
AUGH!!! So why'd you ask me?
Hey, don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping people find stuff. I even like the challenge when you don't have all the information. Although most people have a clue!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Stupid question of the day

This grad student came in and won the prize today for the stupid question of the day(at only 11:15 am too!)
And the stupid question of the day was...
"I didn't come to the orientation last year, so I don't know how the library works, are the books organized alphabetically by title or by call number?"
I wanted to say alphabetically. I really did. That would have been hysterical. All 10 million items. :)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Crazy passes

Whoever is giving out the weekend passes at the local asylum needs to stop. Really. We have more than met our crazy quota for the year.
First we start with the old lady, who has been doing research on some mysterious project for the past 4 years. She is a total flake. In the four years she has been coming to the library I don't think she's learned anything.
I submit to you an example. She said she needed help using the computer to find a book in our catalog.
In actual fact what Flaky researcher woman needed was someone to point out all the components of the computer to her such as the moniter and mouse. I swear to you that I had to tell her the mouse was "that oblong thing with the wire next to your hand."
Then when she figured out the mouse she wanted to know how to 'get to the Internet' I pointed out the Internet icon and explained the mechanics. I barely finished explaining the process, when she complained that the black screen wasn't the internet and she couldn't understand why nothing had happened.
I suppose I should be flattered that she thought that I had the power to summon up the Internet. But that is not my superpower.
And on a related note, she asked my boss a question and when the boss answered it she had to repeat herself several times. It turns out the woman has a hearing aid, which she turned off before she asked her question.
See, crazy?
I need a vacation.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Crowning Ceremony on Sunday

The new King of Fools won his monarchy through the following question:

"Can I have the system administrator login, because I need to change stuff on the computer."

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Had a new one

Outside the standard "I want to reserve this book." (but its not reserve)

"I want to issue this book."

I'm sorry but you can't issue that book. Only I can do that and I'm not sure I like your attitude...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Welcome Albert to the 21st Century

Albert Einstein paid me a visit yesterday afternoon. It seems that he had a problem with the overdue fines he had received for DVDs he had returned to our outside book return the previous friday.

"Albert, those DVD's were from the Whatsit campus library and due at 6:45pm."
"Yes, I put them in your book return by that time."
"We were closed at that time and we back date to right before the library opens today to avoid legitimate fines. This book was due at a specifi time period it must be checked in by then."
"Yes but I returned them!"
"Sir, did you see the very large sticker on the front of that DVD that said = Return to Whatsit = ?"
"Yes, ok." And off he went.

Albert clearly thought his intellect superior to mine and he could pull one over on me. Ha!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Hilarious Amazon Product Video

This video must be shared with the world!