Librarian Ire

It's Ditzy the Wonder Geek!

No, that is not my new super hero title. Still working on that one. I am leaning toward something simple. Nike the Amazing is my current favorite.
Ditzy comes in with a rolling suitcase. Packed to the brim with books. Now this isn't a little carry on overnight bag. This is a week in Paris with your girlfriends shopping the boutiques bag.
First red flag goes up when I see that. It makes me nervous. How many of our books are you planning on putting in that?
Second she set off the security gate with the suitcase when she hunkered down in front of the door returning all these books. The beeping scared her. You would have thought she was a terrorists at an airport or something. Reminded me of a gopher or something. Popping up from the burrow to check out where the threats are.
So now we had to go through the explanation of why it went off and I had to explain it twice. The third flag.
Then she interrupts me talking to a co-worker. That's just plain rude. And her interruption was stupid. She got all het up about the fact that she returned 1 more book than we say she can check out. She wanted me to take down her name in case we had one of her personal books that she returned by accident.
To me that is a clear sign of a disorganized mind. Not to mention a poor housekeeper. But later events showed that this was a good thing for us. She had me paw through the books to see if there were any of hers. Nope. But wait for it!
She returned three books that belonged to another institution altogether.
So I called 'em up and told them I had their books and was mailing them out to them and they'd get them in a week or so. The librarian on the other end of the phone was strangely grateful for the consideration. Especially after I told her it was Ditzy who had the books. Obviously the wonder geek gets around.
So now I am emptying the book drop and checking in books. All of her books have pages turned down. And you all know how I hate that. I believe you should be given the Hammarabi treatment for that. And if you haven't read that post check the archives. And not only are the pages dog-eared they are written in!!!
See why I said it was good to have her name? And I'm not finished. She comes back while I am helping a professor. She barges right into the conversation. Talking over me so I can't hear what I'm saying never mind the professor. Now she has moved from annoying to bitch. Leaping the chasm. Not that her interruption had anything to do with what either of us were discussing.
Oh, no. It was all about her. How she found another book and why did she have so many out and what is she going to do? Do I look like I care?
All I can say is that thank God that Professor H. is kind, patient and has a sense of humor.
I finished checking out his books and then turned on Ditzy. I told her that we don't want anyone dogearing pages and that we don't appreciate people writing in books. I said, "If you need to take notes it's called a notebook." She was silent for a heartbeat and then said(and I still can't believe this!) I thought I erased all the writing. I told her to buy a notebook after she said that.
HOW STUPID ARE YOU? I told her that eraser dust is bad for books. I doubt that she believed me, but there wasn't anything she could think to say.
Then the boss comes in as I was writing a note to the other library. She wants to know why I am mailing books away. I only have to mention Ditzy's name and she rolls her eyes.
We gotta stick a note in her record. Bad library patron, paper abuser, rude human being and all around wackadoo.
Maybe fine her just because.

posted by Nike at 8:41 PM