Librarian Ire

Friday, October 28, 2005


Dear sir,

We regret to inform you, but you have been banned from the university libraries. It has come to our attention that your ignorance of books & journals, computers, printers, the internet, staplers, and what is a library is so immense that you should immediately be remanded into a cryogenic sleep facility until such time as you can undergo successful brain surgery. Your recent interaction with library staff when inquiring after a journal article has irrefutably proven our diagnosis of your stupidity. University librarians do not have the time in which to continue to explain to you why a licensed database does not mean that its "free online", that "you need to come to the library to use a library computer" does not mean "then I can get it online free at home", why "its not fair" that something is free to university students and not to you, nor are staff able to wait on the phone while you ask questions better held until you enter the building, like "where are the computers", "how to I get online", "how do I use the catalog", "where do things print". We apologize for the inconvenience, but really, staff just does not have time to deal with boneheads.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

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