Librarian Ire

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Lazy gene found in Library goers.

(Rooters) Basement room, ivory tower. Results of a recent study have shown that people who use the library may be lazy. The study examined the habits of those using the library compared with those seen other places around. Researchers came to the conclusion that library goers were indeed a lazy lot.

"This study just confirms what I've always said, patrons are lazy bastards" Librarian Nike replied in response to the results of the study. The results measured things like use of the handicap door - 9 out of 10 library goers would push the handicap button to have the door automatically opened for them instead of opening the door for themselves - and retrieval of books - 8 out of 10 library goers would spend time logging onto a computer, filling out a long request form for a book, waiting for the library staff to receive the request and walk the 15 feet to the shelf, pull it, and process the request, all of which takes upwards of 2 days. In comparison, it was found, only 2 out of 10 mall goers pushed the handicap button and only 1 out of 10 people at the grocery store tried to convince staff to shop for them.

This study is sure to provide much to debate for genetists and robot scientists, but doesn't really impress librarians. Librarian Loki believes the study was a big waste of time and money: "What, they couldn't just look in the building and see all the people sprawled out sleeping and slouching along dragging their feet to tell they're lazy? I sure could have used that guy counting the people hitting the handicap button to dust the bookshelves!" It would seem in this case that science has proven it still has much to learn.

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